The Pit of Misery: Politics and Religion

babylonbee.com

Punxsutawney Phil Deported After Birth Certificate Reveals He's From Canada

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA — Beloved groundhog Punxsatawny Phil has been deported back to Canada after the rodent failed to produce the needed paperwork at this year's Groundhog Day celebration.
babylonbee.com babylonbee.com

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA — Beloved groundhog Punxsatawny Phil has been deported back to Canada after the rodent failed to produce the needed paperwork at this year's Groundhog Day celebration.

"It was awkward, for sure," ICE Agent David Scranton said. "We had to apprehend him right before they were able to determine anything about the shadow thing so no one knows if there's going to be six more weeks of winter. Sorry America, but we've got to get this furry felon back to Canada."

Phil has resided in the U.S. for the past decade after apparently coming into the country on a now-expired work visa. He told the press he believed he had filled out the right paperwork and was shocked to learn he was being deported right in the middle of his biggest work day of the year.

"EEEEEEE. EEE. EEEEEE!!" Phil said. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE! EEE. EEEEEEEEE. EEEEEE?"

At publishing time, Phil was appealing the arrest but was seeking new counsel after his previous lawyer had been admitted to the hospital with rabies.

As the immigration debate rages on, Democrats are now ringing alarm bells as thousands of child traffickers are out of work.
 
apnews.com

Rubio says El Salvador offers to accept deportees from US of any nationality, including Americans

U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio says El Salvador’s president “has agreed to the most unprecedented, extraordinary, extraordinary migratory agreement anywhere in the world."
apnews.com apnews.com

Here's the interesting thing.

//“We can send them, and he will put them in his jails,” Rubio said of migrants of all nationalities detained in the United States. “And, he’s also offered to do the same for dangerous criminals currently in custody and serving their sentences in the United States even though they’re U.S. citizens or legal residents.”\\

Yep. All the handwringing about inhumane conditions for criminals here, wait till these numbnuts find out what real inhumane conditions are.
 

A lot of conservatives have no idea what it’s like to be on offense, so I’m going to lay out the characteristics of the offense under military doctrine. Trump and Elon are so effective right now because their plan of action incorporates these elements:

1. Surprise - Striking the enemy at a time or place or in a manner for which they are unprepared. This can disrupt their plans, lower morale, and lead to disorganization.

2. Concentration - Focusing superior combat power at the decisive place and time to overwhelm the enemy. This involves massing forces or effects where they will have the most impact.

3. Tempo - Maintaining or increasing the pace of operations to keep the enemy off balance. Rapid, continuous operations can prevent the enemy from reorganizing or counterattacking effectively.

4. Audacity - Boldly executing plans, often involving high-risk, high-reward actions. This includes daring maneuvers or unconventional tactics to achieve objectives.

5. Momentum - Capitalizing on initial successes to maintain pressure on the enemy. This involves exploiting breaches in enemy lines, pursuing retreating forces, or advancing quickly through newly gained territory.

6. Maneuver - Using movement in relation to the enemy to gain positional advantage. This could mean flanking, enveloping, or penetrating enemy defenses to disrupt their cohesion.

7. Firepower - Coordinating and employing various forms of lethal and non-lethal means to support the maneuver, suppress enemy forces, or destroy their capabilities

.8. Initiative - Seizing and retaining the initiative to dictate the terms of the battle. This involves proactive engagement rather than reacting to enemy moves.

9. Flexibility - Adapting tactics, operations, and strategic plans to changing conditions on the battlefield. This includes the ability to shift from one form of attack to another as situations dictate.

10. Synchronization - Ensuring all elements of combat power (maneuver, firepower, protection, leadership, information) work together harmoniously to achieve maximum effect.
 
www.thegatewaypundit.com

BREAKING: Trump Announces "US Will Take Over Gaza Strip and We Will Do a Job With It, Too!" (VIDEO) | The Gateway Pundit | by Jim Hoft

In a startling announcement, President Trump declares the U.S. will assume control of the Gaza Strip, promising significant redevelopment and job creation. This bold strategy raises questions about future U.S. involvement in the region.
www.thegatewaypundit.com www.thegatewaypundit.com

x.com

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Trump’s Gaza Strip, according to Grok

Gi-4RfmWEAAHKbM
 
AlaskaGuy said:
www.thegatewaypundit.com

DEVELOPING: Trump White House Drafting Executive Order to Abolish Department of Education | The Gateway Pundit | by Cristina Laila

President Trump's recent executive order to dismantle the Department of Education signals a significant shift in federal education policy, aiming to decentralize control and redirect funding to states. This bold move raises critical questions about the future of American education.
www.thegatewaypundit.com www.thegatewaypundit.com
Click to expand...
This is the single most important thing he’s done yet. Cut off creation of new Marxist activists.
 
AlaskaGuy said:
www.thegatewaypundit.com

BREAKING: Trump Announces "US Will Take Over Gaza Strip and We Will Do a Job With It, Too!" (VIDEO) | The Gateway Pundit | by Jim Hoft

In a startling announcement, President Trump declares the U.S. will assume control of the Gaza Strip, promising significant redevelopment and job creation. This bold strategy raises questions about future U.S. involvement in the region.
www.thegatewaypundit.com www.thegatewaypundit.com

x.com

x.com x.com
Trump’s Gaza Strip, according to Grok

Gi-4RfmWEAAHKbM
Click to expand...
nypost.com

Trump says ‘US will take over the Gaza Strip’ — after relocating ‘all’ Palestinians

President Trump proposed a US takeover of the Gaza Strip Tuesday — shortly after proposing removing “all” Palestinians living there.
nypost.com nypost.com

Video in link
https://x.com/RapidResponse47/status/1886928747216965935
President Trump on securing PEACE in Gaza: "The U.S. will take over the Gaza strip ... and be responsible for dismantling all of the dangerous, unexploded bombs and other weapons on the site ... create an economic development that will supply unlimited numbers of jobs and housing for the people of the area."

trumptowersmall.jpg

Gi_RoelWAAAH_ZD
 
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