Marriage advice.....

DJ Fieri

DJ Fieri

Allegedly Likes baby blue teddy bears.
Messages
8,194
Was married about 23 years ago for about 1.5 years and got married April of 2022 for the 2nd and last time.










And go......
 
Posting again… best I’ve got!

Rules to live by…

1. What’s hers is hers.
2. What’s yours is hers.
3. It’s about compromise… do things her way and you won’t have to duck or bleed.
4. When she says “we need to talk” DO NOT TALK! Exercise your right to remain silent until you find out what you’ve been accused of.
5. Anything you say can and will be used against you.
6. Under no circumstances, if she says “do what you want” do you EVER do what you want. Sit quietly and await further instructions.
7. If she says “FINE”, you have lost that argument. Anything you say after that is the start of the NEXT argument.
8. You can be right, or you can be happy. Choose wisely.
 
Men are problem solvers, it’s how we’re wired genetically. Women for the most part are not. There are exceptions of course, but generally this is true. No matter what the problem is, we identify it, come up with options, weight the pros, cons, and risks and then make a decision that we feel makes the most sense based on those criteria. One of the times my wife was the most pissed off at me ever was when she came to talk to me about something that was bothering her. I immediately gave her options and how I thought she should handle it. She yelled I DONT WANT YOUR DAMN OPINION ON WHAT TO DO, I JUST WANT YOU TO LISTEN! Sometimes she just wants you to listen, hold her , comfort her and let her get it off her chest.
And NEVER lie to her. I don’t know how but women always find out the truth. Always! And it never ends well.
 
RTR...USN (ret) said:
Men are problem solvers, it’s how we’re wired genetically. Women for the most part are not. There are exceptions of course, but generally this is true. No matter what the problem is, we identify it, come up with options, weight the pros, cons, and risks and then make a decision that we feel makes the most sense based on those criteria. One of the times my wife was the most pissed off at me ever was when she came to talk to me about something that was bothering her. I immediately gave her options and how I thought she should handle it. She yelled I DONT WANT YOUR DAMN OPINION ON WHAT TO DO, I JUST WANT YOU TO LISTEN! Sometimes she just wants you to listen, hold her , comfort her and let her get it off her chest.
And NEVER lie to her. I don’t know how but women always find out the truth. Always! And it never ends well.
Click to expand...
OTOH women say they want more communication from their men. Yet, like you just posted then it's I JUST WANNA GET IT OFF MY CHEST!!!!!

A friend of mine calls women the alien species.
 
LyquidMetal said:
OTOH women say they want more communication from their men. Yet, like you just posted then it's I JUST WANNA GET IT OFF MY CHEST!!!!!

A friend of mine calls women the alien species.
Click to expand...
The trick is to learn the difference between listening, and helping. You don’t get there without a lot of effort and work. And yes, screwing it up a few times. But you know what? It’s worth the effort. 36 years later she is still my best friend.
 
Learn to keep your mouth shut:

“_ _ _ (ex boyfriend who dumped her) is apparently the smartest man on the earth.”

Or

“You are acting just like _ _ _ .” The friend she bad mouthed earlier in the week.

These are not good responses. Trust me. I tried them and they didn’t work out to well.
 
RTR...USN (ret) said:
Men are problem solvers, it’s how we’re wired genetically. Women for the most part are not. There are exceptions of course, but generally this is true. No matter what the problem is, we identify it, come up with options, weight the pros, cons, and risks and then make a decision that we feel makes the most sense based on those criteria. One of the times my wife was the most pissed off at me ever was when she came to talk to me about something that was bothering her. I immediately gave her options and how I thought she should handle it. She yelled I DONT WANT YOUR DAMN OPINION ON WHAT TO DO, I JUST WANT YOU TO LISTEN! Sometimes she just wants you to listen, hold her , comfort her and let her get it off her chest.
And NEVER lie to her. I don’t know how but women always find out the truth. Always! And it never ends well.
Click to expand...
Fucking Wise Man.
 
RTR...USN (ret) said:
Men are problem solvers, it’s how we’re wired genetically. Women for the most part are not. There are exceptions of course, but generally this is true. No matter what the problem is, we identify it, come up with options, weight the pros, cons, and risks and then make a decision that we feel makes the most sense based on those criteria. One of the times my wife was the most pissed off at me ever was when she came to talk to me about something that was bothering her. I immediately gave her options and how I thought she should handle it. She yelled I DONT WANT YOUR DAMN OPINION ON WHAT TO DO, I JUST WANT YOU TO LISTEN! Sometimes she just wants you to listen, hold her , comfort her and let her get it off her chest.
And NEVER lie to her. I don’t know how but women always find out the truth. Always! And it never ends well.
Click to expand...

Agreed with all of your post, except for NEVER Lie, but white lies dont count. Such as the obvious "Do I look fat in this dress?" or "Do you like this or that?" "Did you like what I fixed for dinner?" If you tell the truth you are screwed! Ive actually told the truth with a a "yes of no" and the reply has always been "You could have been nice about it!!!" "I know it wasnt this or that but that was inconsiderate and hurts my feelings!" Like they are asking you to lie to be considerate/ encouraging. Dont make this mistake. Proper response is "You make that look great!" or "absolutely!" If she is asking about something that pertains to her looks or what she went out of her way to do, always be complimentary. But you can definitely give honest advice on guy stuff, cars, projects, etc. Ive never had issues there. And when her family does something fucked up, be encouraging, dont ever pile on, even if she is giving them hell herself. You can say, well maybe they will change, people make mistakes, etc... Even know you YOU know damn well they aint never gonna change are always gonna be total fuck-ups. Sometimes you hit a home run with that one, as long as it doesnt involve her. Always take her side if it does but dont push it too hard.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top