The Pit of Knoxville

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@Nod4Eight

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, "What a peaceful & loving couple"

The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

The Husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, That's once."

We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again. Again my wife quietly said, "That's twice." We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time - my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I SHOUTED at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you f*ckin crazy!?" She looked at ME, and quietly said, "That's once."

And from that moment....."we have lived happily every after."
 
RTR...USN (ret) said:
My prowess with a hammer is well known in my family. You know it's bad when you come home from work with a bandaid on your hand, and when you go to pick up your 3 yo daughter she stops, looks at the bandaid on your finger, puts her hands on her hips and says "daddy, did they give you a hammer at work?" Damn near had to give the wife CPR she was laughing so hard. Obviously she has my smart ass mouth and quick wit.
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The Mrs. and I took the kids to our gym with us one time where I proceeded to get kicked out by the manager because I couldn't keep my mouth shut regarding an issue. Anyways, as were are leaving my daughter says: "well dad, that was a productive evening." I wanted to hug her right there because I knew the apple didn't fall far from the tree.
 
RTR...USN (ret) said:
I haven't had an incident in many years, but I can promise you that if there is a lesson to be learned, I'll learn it the hard way LOL!
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My uncle does a ton of woodworking these days, last year he cut off the tip of his middle finger and most of his index finger with a table saw. He thought it was funny. He literally keeps the finger in his freezer because he didn’t find it until days later as the saw flung it across the room and into a storage box. Hasn’t slowed him down one bit.
 
CouchOnFire said:
"Muh Roads" :)
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That they don't maintain.

My grandfather even donated the right of way on one street and the property for the entire street on the other side of the block. Not eminent domain, donation.

They didn't even name the street after him. The other is named West yet it runs north and south.

I seen whatchoo you did there though. That poor misguided soul.
 
Selkies ftw said:
My uncle does a ton of woodworking these days, last year he cut off the tip of his middle finger and most of his index finger with a table saw. He thought it was funny. He literally keeps the finger in his freezer because he didn’t find it until days later as the saw flung it across the room and into a storage box. Hasn’t slowed him down one bit.
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RTR...USN (ret) said:
This was the last project I did. It's a fully articulating cross stitch frame sized to go around the wifes recliner.



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Dude, I don't mean for this to come off overly critical but if you have that much talent to finish out that stick structure with clean finish (I gripe about the brass casters because I hate some bright fucking brass) but, it's time to lay some wood floors down.
 
catlanta33 said:
Dude, I don't mean for this to come off overly critical but if you have that much talent to finish out that stick structure with clean finish (I gripe about the brass casters because I hate some bright fucking brass) but, it's time to lay some wood floors down.
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All critiques are welcome and no offense taken. I put down this floor in June. It's not T/G hardwood, but bamboo laminate.

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RTR...USN (ret) said:
All critiques are welcome and no offense taken. I put down this floor in June. It's not T/G hardwood, but bamboo laminate.

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I'm sitting here, delaying packing up the books in the bookshelf and moving all the furniture from the living room so we can start to lay our new flooring this weekend. I say "we" but I mean Mrs Nod. She's in charge of that. I have the gazebo to finish up....
 
Nod4Eight said:
I'm sitting here, delaying packing up the books in the bookshelf and moving all the furniture from the living room so we can start to lay our new flooring this weekend. I say "we" but I mean Mrs Nod. She's in charge of that. I have the gazebo to finish up....
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The wife did the river rock stone tile in front of the fireplace. If you can remodel together without anyone dying? It's a match made in heaven LOL!
 
RTR...USN (ret) said:
They usually do. The wife has learned over the years, that anytime I estimate a project to double the cost and add 50% to the time!
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I've learned to double my time (because I always fail to remember I have other commitments that take my time). This project is done with almost completely reclaimed barn wood. The only new wood is the 8 posts. Been a challenge to use some of that old wood.
 
catlanta33 said:
Not a fan of the site taking a picture and turning it 90 degrees. Whose ass do I need to bust to get shit right on this site I pay nothing to support and only post semi-humorous sarcastic bullshit on?
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Apparently it likes to post pictures in landscape. I took that in portrait, and since I'm on my phone I decided not to figure how to rotate it. And of course I'm way too lazy to go outside and take a new picture.
 
Nod4Eight said:
I've learned to double my time (because I always fail to remember I have other commitments that take my time). This project is done with almost completely reclaimed barn wood. The only new wood is the 8 posts. Been a challenge to use some of that old wood.
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I love reclaimed barn wood, but it can be a challenge to work with. I don't have a planer, and don't do enough to justify the cost of buying one. When the FIL was alive I would use his, but his son now has it.
 
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