Yea I can't respect that. Not sure what is going on with Toad but Peter hasn't done anything to anyone. He said from day one to ignore Handi. The irony is Handi was actually supportive of our arrival until some petty shit in the NFL forums. Then he went full blown. So that dude deserves grief but Peter has been good peeps. He's a better man than me because if I had a child I lost I'd lose it over that
1/2
I'm sorry but thats not true.
My comments two nights go, vile and inexcusable as they are, have context that only Peter and I would have understood. Now, again, what I said was fucking evil. And I am sorry. A mixture of grief, stress, exhaustion and alcohol led me to go to a dark place against my better judgment. But, please allow to me to shed
some light on what led me to go there.
When I first learned of his daughters accident, he had (and still does, despite what I said) my sympathy. I only discovered it because he relayed how another poster (I forget who, and won’t guess) had mocked his daughters death. I of course, told him how terrible that was and how the person who did so was a piece of shit (so, again, I hope how terrible I feel is apparent), but was surprised at how indifferent he was to it. I found it passing queer, but, attributed it to a sort of maturity or even coping mechanism- practiced apathy or stoicism. Now, fast forward a few weeks/months, and the da the Cathedral of Notre Dame was burning to the ground, I was distraught. Pretty sure everyone knows I’m a devout Catholic. Anyway, Peter was treating the situation with an attitude that can only be described as subdued glee. He was intentionally flippant and petty with mitigating the tragedy, and when I and others were taken back aghast, he was dismissive to the point of provocation. As he and I discussed (which ended in argument) it, he was outright joking about it. In an attempt to make him realize (I felt like Angry Dufrane wondering how he could be so obtuse) where I and others were coming from, said it was akin to an irreplaceable loss, and asked him how he would feel if (as way of reminder) if someone mocked his daughter’s tragedy. I in no way was disrespectful, and was considerate, as I was still trying to be civil with the man. He claimed indifference while at the same time saying the two were not comparable (I disagree, but, fine, fair enough that can be subjective), but his tone turned bitter and he then outright was trying to hurt me and bait me with his remarks. Frustrated, I decided to leave the board for a bit. When I returned hours later, I was banned, in the same snarky, smug, condescending tone he’d taken over the course of that afternoon. Basically, he wanted me to know it was he who pushed the button. HE had me banned and he knows it was groundless. That kind of injustice gnaws away at me, I admit it. It can make me vicious. So, I was adamant he NOT be allowed here, and yet, he turned up anyway. In truth, I don’t even recall what he or I said to one another to set things off Monday night, but I know I was livid and in a bad place already, so, I decided to go full nuclear…and not even with the intention of hurting him by reminding him of his daughter’s tragedy, but, because I knew he was full of shit.
So, I know him to be a liar and a snake who is damn good at presenting himself otherwise. He’d rather take care of things in private? Of course he would! He’d love that clandestine shit….play the polite moderate publicly, and act insidiously behind the scenes. Because that’s exactly what he did at Hoop. He asked Pstute privately not to ban me? Okay.I believe it…it helps him save face and appear gracious, and knew Pstute would say he’d done so. It’s pure PR. He knew I’d get shredded and publicly shamed, and I don’t disagree -I deserved it. But then I made my post apologizing and admitting I acted like pure trash, in disgusting fashion, and I regret what I wrote, but stand behind my sentiment that he is a snake. Look at how he blew up when I made my post last night, and became unhinged, desperate to spin the narrative of what I wrote. He got far more angry at my apology and explanation to the board than he did at my comments the night before. That should tell you something.
For example, when BG took me to task, he says to her “
While the intent is appreciated, there is no reason for anyone to upset, when Im not.” hoping for, and getting responses like “
Actually slim, peter took the high road.”, pandering, but then follows it up after my (way of apology) post with things like, “
Youre the liar, and you cant help it. You take no responsibilty for anything. You begged to get banned, and literally said as much on more than one occasion. Youre pathetic. Truly fucking pathetic. Apologize with lies and the qualifier of me being some pos that I am not. I am upfront with just about anything. Im not a fucking liar, and I never had a problem with you. Your bs vulgar schtick is just that, schtick. You have gotten what you deserved, and have never owned any of it.”
What happened to not getting upset? You see the jarring contrast? It’s because I admitted what I did was wrong, am honestly ashamed and regretful, and take responsibility, but stand by my assessment of him and tell the truth of what happened on Hoopla. And that set him off. You all have known me for years. What you see with me is what you get. I’ve always been honest and open about who I am wha I am and what I believe. I’ve used my own face as an avatar for years, posted pictures of my life, everyone knows my profession, where I live, what I do, etc. I’m as real as it gets, for good or ill, and I think no one could deny that. My personality is no schtick, I’ve been consistent for years.
He also keeps saying thing like “
Putting all this one me, when youve been melting down for months, is disingenous at best, and total fucking bullshit likely.” or “
You can think say whatever you want about me, to justify your bullshit, but thats all it will be. Admit youre done with message boards, cause you cant fucking handle it, or control yourself. Be honest, dont blame me for you being what you are. Respond or not, idgaf. Youre a petulaent child, and a pussy. Ill accept being an asshole, thats about it”. He keeps inferring I do things that get me banned, and I bring it on myself (while also saying I take no responsibility). Well, time to air the bullshit and set the record straight.
We ALL know the rivals purge was BS. I did nothing to deserve that ban, none of us did. Even if the porn thread on purple menace were used as justification,
I never posted any. I, we all, were banned for personal grievances by disturbed or bitter individuals. Now, when I got to the Hoop, I have publicly stated ad nauseam that I entered the political thread guns blazing and acting belligerent, and drew a ban. And I maintain that what I said was still mild by comparison, the ban was fair. But, it didn’t take long after that before I was being targeted for harassment via moderation. For example, I found a political sub thread on the redskins board, and posted there with civility for months, and actually was quite friendly with it’s mod…until the overall board mod booted me from it. When I messaged him to find out why, he gave a bullshit excuse that people mention me a lot. Confused, I asked him what terms I had violated. He could cite none, and when I pressed the issue, he essentially threatened me, admitting I had violated none, but he would might me anyway. Similarly, in the entertainment thread (everyone knows how much and detailed I discuss movies and TV) I got attached for my opinion of Captain Marvel, and how it was marketed, more specifically, someone claiming I was airing personal grievances borne of insecurity, and no one else felt similarly. I then posted dozens of youtube videos of well known content creators echoing my sentiments. The board mod, a self admitted fan of mine, who admitted I did nothing wrong, banned me from the entertainment thread entirely because the overall mod told him to. What another poster (I won’t mention who as I don’t want to rope him into this drama) and I found was that essentially this mod was going to mitigate or ban me for no other reason than a clique of posters were pressuring him to. I was violating no terms, and operating within the rules with civility and restraint (given I was the victim of coordinated and targeted harassment), and yet being threatened to be banned simply because “too many people kept mentioning my name”, and the other poster was even threatened himself for having the audacity to inquire as to the glaring double standard.
In our discussions, said poser and I had come to the same conclusion, that Peter carried a great deal of influence with this mod, and could even essentially give marching orders and call in favors, however you want to phrase it, as in, if he decided he wanted you gone, poof, you were gone. Franky was a victim of this I believe. Peter joined in on going after Frank, despite no history with him, and bristled at Franky’s demeanor, bragged he could get him booted, and then, what do you know? He was booted. So, when Peter (who I believe was on the fence about me, and may have been the only reason I hadn’t been banned by Fordman) and I finally had our disagreement that he clearly got pissy about, low and behold, within hours, I am nuked. Coincidence?
