OK, which one of you is this guy...

PSUTE

PSUTE

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Know it's gotta be one of us, I wasn't in Florida recently...



A man was being investigated for DUI on a Florida road, cops say. Then he cracked a beer​


Madeleine Marr
Mon, February 13, 2023 at 5:17 PM EST


Florida deputies working uniformed patrol saw something amiss on a Cape Coral road just before midnight on Feb. 8, according to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office.
As per a police report obtained by the Miami Herald, when their car approached Gleason Parkway, “something caught their eye.”
It was a black 2018 Mercedes-Benz C300 sedan parked in the right-hand lane facing southbound. There was no traffic at the time and the vehicle had its lights on, blocking all traffic in that side of the road.
READ MORE: Florida man woke up his girlfriend with a warning, cops say
“The vehicle was just sitting there,” reads the report, which adds that deputies crept behind the car and tried to determine if it had been abandoned.
Inside, 40-year-old Michael Sereda was sitting alone in the front passenger seat. “The offender was not observed in operation of the vehicle involved nor was he involved in a traffic collision,” notes the LCSO complaint.
READ MORE: An argument at the RV park turned violent, Florida cops say
Serada, who refused to give a breath sample, had the odor of an alcoholic beverage “emanating from his facial area,” as well as “bloodshot, watery eyes and a slurred, delayed, repetitive speech pattern,” said the affidavit.
“Multiple open alcohol containers were observed between Sereda’s legs and in the front cup holders. ...The suspect was unable to speak based on his level of intoxication.”
Officers from the Cape Coral Police Department were called to assist. While waiting for backup, a deputy observed Sereda reach between his legs and grab an unopened beer, and crack the tab. The deputy attempted to grab the can from Sereda when he began to resist and pull away.
Once the individual was out of the car, Standardized Field Sobriety Evaluations could not be completed due to the suspect being “unable to support his own weight, and continuously, actively resisting deputies.”
After a brief investigation, the deputy found probable cause to arrest the man. Charges included driving under the influence and resisting an officer without violence.
While struggling with deputies trying to put restraints on him, Serada received a minor abrasion to his left eyebrow, right knuckle and right elbow. He was taken to Lee Memorial Hospital as “a disorderly subject” and required the assistance of security guards and a wheelchair.
Hospital staff medically cleared Serada, who was transported to the Lee County Jail in “apparent good health and without further incident.”
Back on the road, before the Mercedes was towed, the deputy took photographs of multiple open containers of Michelob Ultra in the cup holders of the car’s center console — in addition to several open boxes of Bud Light 24 packs, the report concludes.
According to court records, Sereda was released on $2,500 bond.
 
Hard2Bluff said:
This guy clearly didnt give a shit after the first opened 24 pack box. :LOL:
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I don't know about anyone else, but I have never given a shit about any damned thing after opening the first case of beer. I tried to give a shit about something once in Boone ... but instead sat on my cooler and smoked some bowls until that silliness passed.
 
MarineUKFan said:
Then we mooned the drone......
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I was wearing red drawers ...hell, wasn't sure I even had any on. Going into the trip, I had no doubt that everyone I was going to meet was going to be the same as they were on this MB ... but I swear there had to be some doubt in the minds of people that were meeting me for the first time. Doubt may be the wrong word so feel free to sub in the word hope if needed.
 
Kind of a funny story, about a month ago, our neighborhood flooded and we got evacuated. I got all of the vehicles out of the driveway as the water was rising except for my daughter’s ATS that sits very low to the ground. I was standing around on the street watching the river with a bunch of the neighbors, I was already wet from walking down the flooded street to get the last work truck out, so I decided to walk back down to my driveway (which was a small island at the time) to try to gauge whether or not I thought I could drive the caddy out through the river. When I got there, there was a refrigerator laying on its back that had washed up in my driveway blocking the caddy in. I drug it out of the way, but it was heavy as shit, so I peeked inside to see how full it was. The thing was fully stocked with beer, wine, and champagne. So naturally I helped myself, it was still cold. I decided against trying to drive the caddy out, so I walked back through the river with a beer in each hand to where the neighbors were all standing around and watching, and told them of my new front yard jackpot. I told them to help themselves if they didn’t mind walking through the river to get it, and that one of the neighbors had excellent taste and didn’t cheap out on booze.

Turned out, it belonged to an older couple that was standing right there. It had floated out of their garage. The woman’s medication was in the fridge too. I told them I’d go back and get it for her. They told me not to, the water was flowing down the street pretty quickly and even the firefighters wouldn’t walk back down through it, but I insisted. The husband said, “take anything else you want out of the fridge,” so I made my way back. Grabbed a bunch of beer and a few bottles of Vueve Cliquot, took them inside my house (which was completely surrounded by water, but the water level still had four more steps to climb before it got in the house). Went back out to the driveway fridge, grabbed a bucket that had also washed up in my driveway, and filled it with her medication, a bottle of Dom Perignon, and another bottle of Cliquot. Threw a Chimay in each pocket, cracked one more for the walk back, grabbed my bucket, and headed back up the street. As I came back into view from where the neighbors were standing, there was a news crew there now too. They filmed me tromping upstream drinking a beer, smoking a cigarette, and hauling a bucket of drugs and champagne. It did make the 6 o’clock news.

Shortly after I made it back to dry land and delivered the bucket to the neighbors, one of the CHP officers called out, “whose green Bronco is this?” I told him it was mine, He said, “I need it moved, so we can put up the road blocks.” I laughed and told him, “hold my beer.” He shook his head and wouldn’t let me move it. Said I needed to have one of my buddies move it for me, so the news camera man jumped in and got it out of the way. I was only on my fourth beer, but I still had to wait for all the cops to leave before I could take off and go meet up with the wife and kid at the hotel.
 
midcal said:
Kind of a funny story, about a month ago, our neighborhood flooded and we got evacuated. I got all of the vehicles out of the driveway as the water was rising except for my daughter’s ATS that sits very low to the ground. I was standing around on the street watching the river with a bunch of the neighbors, I was already wet from walking down the flooded street to get the last work truck out, so I decided to walk back down to my driveway (which was a small island at the time) to try to gauge whether or not I thought I could drive the caddy out through the river. When I got there, there was a refrigerator laying on its back that had washed up in my driveway blocking the caddy in. I drug it out of the way, but it was heavy as shit, so I peeked inside to see how full it was. The thing was fully stocked with beer, wine, and champagne. So naturally I helped myself, it was still cold. I decided against trying to drive the caddy out, so I walked back through the river with a beer in each hand to where the neighbors were all standing around and watching, and told them of my new front yard jackpot. I told them to help themselves if they didn’t mind walking through the river to get it, and that one of the neighbors had excellent taste and didn’t cheap out on booze.

Turned out, it belonged to an older couple that was standing right there. It had floated out of their garage. The woman’s medication was in the fridge too. I told them I’d go back and get it for her. They told me not to, the water was flowing down the street pretty quickly and even the firefighters wouldn’t walk back down through it, but I insisted. The husband said, “take anything else you want out of the fridge,” so I made my way back. Grabbed a bunch of beer and a few bottles of Vueve Cliquot, took them inside my house (which was completely surrounded by water, but the water level still had four more steps to climb before it got in the house). Went back out to the driveway fridge, grabbed a bucket that had also washed up in my driveway, and filled it with her medication, a bottle of Dom Perignon, and another bottle of Cliquot. Threw a Chimay in each pocket, cracked one more for the walk back, grabbed my bucket, and headed back up the street. As I came back into view from where the neighbors were standing, there was a news crew there now too. They filmed me tromping upstream drinking a beer, smoking a cigarette, and hauling a bucket of drugs and champagne. It did make the 6 o’clock news.

Shortly after I made it back to dry land and delivered the bucket to the neighbors, one of the CHP officers called out, “whose green Bronco is this?” I told him it was mine, He said, “I need it moved, so we can put up the road blocks.” I laughed and told him, “hold my beer.” He shook his head and wouldn’t let me move it. Said I needed to have one of my buddies move it for me, so the news camera man jumped in and got it out of the way. I was only on my fourth beer, but I still had to wait for all the cops to leave before I could take off and go meet up with the wife and kid at the hotel.
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Sorry about the flooding, bro, but that's fucking hilarious!........and AWESOME!
 
OldDevilDawg said:
Sorry about the flooding, bro, but that's fucking hilarious!........and AWESOME!
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We made it through just fine. No insurance claims or anything. Our house is built on a tall foundation, so we don’t have to worry about water getting in the house. Daughter’s car made it too. Even our fence held up, there were a lot of fence sections that floated past our back yard. The back yard was covered in mud, just enough to bury all the dog shit that I was too lazy to pick up. It was crazy though how fast the water came up. We’ve had flooding in our neighborhood several times before, but this was the worst. I thought for sure I’d at least have to pump water out of the crawl space and have the septic tank pumped, but it’s all river rock under the dirt on the lot, so when the river went back down, everything drained pretty quickly. A lot of our neighbors weren’t so lucky, but they’ve all been through it before.
 
midcal said:
Kind of a funny story, about a month ago, our neighborhood flooded and we got evacuated. I got all of the vehicles out of the driveway as the water was rising except for my daughter’s ATS that sits very low to the ground. I was standing around on the street watching the river with a bunch of the neighbors, I was already wet from walking down the flooded street to get the last work truck out, so I decided to walk back down to my driveway (which was a small island at the time) to try to gauge whether or not I thought I could drive the caddy out through the river. When I got there, there was a refrigerator laying on its back that had washed up in my driveway blocking the caddy in. I drug it out of the way, but it was heavy as shit, so I peeked inside to see how full it was. The thing was fully stocked with beer, wine, and champagne. So naturally I helped myself, it was still cold. I decided against trying to drive the caddy out, so I walked back through the river with a beer in each hand to where the neighbors were all standing around and watching, and told them of my new front yard jackpot. I told them to help themselves if they didn’t mind walking through the river to get it, and that one of the neighbors had excellent taste and didn’t cheap out on booze.

Turned out, it belonged to an older couple that was standing right there. It had floated out of their garage. The woman’s medication was in the fridge too. I told them I’d go back and get it for her. They told me not to, the water was flowing down the street pretty quickly and even the firefighters wouldn’t walk back down through it, but I insisted. The husband said, “take anything else you want out of the fridge,” so I made my way back. Grabbed a bunch of beer and a few bottles of Vueve Cliquot, took them inside my house (which was completely surrounded by water, but the water level still had four more steps to climb before it got in the house). Went back out to the driveway fridge, grabbed a bucket that had also washed up in my driveway, and filled it with her medication, a bottle of Dom Perignon, and another bottle of Cliquot. Threw a Chimay in each pocket, cracked one more for the walk back, grabbed my bucket, and headed back up the street. As I came back into view from where the neighbors were standing, there was a news crew there now too. They filmed me tromping upstream drinking a beer, smoking a cigarette, and hauling a bucket of drugs and champagne. It did make the 6 o’clock news.

Shortly after I made it back to dry land and delivered the bucket to the neighbors, one of the CHP officers called out, “whose green Bronco is this?” I told him it was mine, He said, “I need it moved, so we can put up the road blocks.” I laughed and told him, “hold my beer.” He shook his head and wouldn’t let me move it. Said I needed to have one of my buddies move it for me, so the news camera man jumped in and got it out of the way. I was only on my fourth beer, but I still had to wait for all the cops to leave before I could take off and go meet up with the wife and kid at the hotel.
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midcal said:
Kind of a funny story, about a month ago, our neighborhood flooded and we got evacuated. I got all of the vehicles out of the driveway as the water was rising except for my daughter’s ATS that sits very low to the ground. I was standing around on the street watching the river with a bunch of the neighbors, I was already wet from walking down the flooded street to get the last work truck out, so I decided to walk back down to my driveway (which was a small island at the time) to try to gauge whether or not I thought I could drive the caddy out through the river. When I got there, there was a refrigerator laying on its back that had washed up in my driveway blocking the caddy in. I drug it out of the way, but it was heavy as shit, so I peeked inside to see how full it was. The thing was fully stocked with beer, wine, and champagne. So naturally I helped myself, it was still cold. I decided against trying to drive the caddy out, so I walked back through the river with a beer in each hand to where the neighbors were all standing around and watching, and told them of my new front yard jackpot. I told them to help themselves if they didn’t mind walking through the river to get it, and that one of the neighbors had excellent taste and didn’t cheap out on booze.

Turned out, it belonged to an older couple that was standing right there. It had floated out of their garage. The woman’s medication was in the fridge too. I told them I’d go back and get it for her. They told me not to, the water was flowing down the street pretty quickly and even the firefighters wouldn’t walk back down through it, but I insisted. The husband said, “take anything else you want out of the fridge,” so I made my way back. Grabbed a bunch of beer and a few bottles of Vueve Cliquot, took them inside my house (which was completely surrounded by water, but the water level still had four more steps to climb before it got in the house). Went back out to the driveway fridge, grabbed a bucket that had also washed up in my driveway, and filled it with her medication, a bottle of Dom Perignon, and another bottle of Cliquot. Threw a Chimay in each pocket, cracked one more for the walk back, grabbed my bucket, and headed back up the street. As I came back into view from where the neighbors were standing, there was a news crew there now too. They filmed me tromping upstream drinking a beer, smoking a cigarette, and hauling a bucket of drugs and champagne. It did make the 6 o’clock news.

Shortly after I made it back to dry land and delivered the bucket to the neighbors, one of the CHP officers called out, “whose green Bronco is this?” I told him it was mine, He said, “I need it moved, so we can put up the road blocks.” I laughed and told him, “hold my beer.” He shook his head and wouldn’t let me move it. Said I needed to have one of my buddies move it for me, so the news camera man jumped in and got it out of the way. I was only on my fourth beer, but I still had to wait for all the cops to leave before I could take off and go meet up with the wife and kid at the hotel.
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Fucking redneck! :)
 
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