batchaps4me
2022 Poster of The Year!
- Messages
- 6,925
- Location
- Bristol, TN
Myself and @OldDevilDawg were conversing about some stupid and sketchy shit we have done over the years so I decided to start a thread for some stories. FWIW, every story I tell in this thread is as true as I can possibly remember and involves either me, my close friends and/or family. Disclaimer: only idiots were harmed in the making of the stories, do not try these at home:
I was about 16 and became my 10 year older brother "Curly's" designated driver. I worked for weed, but normally was not drinking. One Friday night I was driving him and his running buddy Larry around, and they were really drunk. We were in Larry's truck headed to the county line on a beer run. Larry talked us into driving to a storage building owned by a coal mine. He had learned that there was a shit ton of copper ripe for the picking in the building. The problem was that they had an electric fence complete with "Warning High Voltage" signs surrounding the building. Not to be deterred, Larry said he knew how to disable it. He thought that he could throw a chain over the fence and ground it out. He had about three feet of bicycle chain and tossed it over the top of the fence … the chain only touched the fence. Now, I could have warned him but instead I told Curly to watch this.
I have no idea what voltage the fence was, but the blue flash was blinding. Larry's was knocked back several feet ... his hand was burned to a crisp as well as his feet and his tennis shoes were blown slap out. I could smell the hair and skin burning long before my vision recovered from the flash. We made it over to Larry and IMHO his heart had stopped but he definitely wasn't breathing. My brother hollered to give him CPR … I gave him some chest compressions and told Curly that it was his friend so he could do the mouth to mouth if he wanted to. Curly pushed me off of Larry and started slapping him while yelling "You better breathe mother fucker, we ain't putting our lips on ya!!"
Larry started breathing and came to for a minute but was really only semiconscious. We threw him in his truck and took off to the hospital. Me and Curly were arguing about who was going in the ER with him … we knew the police would be involved … so what we did was drive into the ambulance unloading area in front of the ER doors and pushed Larry out and drove like hell back to Larry's house. We left his keys in the truck and walked the railroad tracks back home. To this day, Larry is know around town as Goofy.
I was about 16 and became my 10 year older brother "Curly's" designated driver. I worked for weed, but normally was not drinking. One Friday night I was driving him and his running buddy Larry around, and they were really drunk. We were in Larry's truck headed to the county line on a beer run. Larry talked us into driving to a storage building owned by a coal mine. He had learned that there was a shit ton of copper ripe for the picking in the building. The problem was that they had an electric fence complete with "Warning High Voltage" signs surrounding the building. Not to be deterred, Larry said he knew how to disable it. He thought that he could throw a chain over the fence and ground it out. He had about three feet of bicycle chain and tossed it over the top of the fence … the chain only touched the fence. Now, I could have warned him but instead I told Curly to watch this.
I have no idea what voltage the fence was, but the blue flash was blinding. Larry's was knocked back several feet ... his hand was burned to a crisp as well as his feet and his tennis shoes were blown slap out. I could smell the hair and skin burning long before my vision recovered from the flash. We made it over to Larry and IMHO his heart had stopped but he definitely wasn't breathing. My brother hollered to give him CPR … I gave him some chest compressions and told Curly that it was his friend so he could do the mouth to mouth if he wanted to. Curly pushed me off of Larry and started slapping him while yelling "You better breathe mother fucker, we ain't putting our lips on ya!!"
Larry started breathing and came to for a minute but was really only semiconscious. We threw him in his truck and took off to the hospital. Me and Curly were arguing about who was going in the ER with him … we knew the police would be involved … so what we did was drive into the ambulance unloading area in front of the ER doors and pushed Larry out and drove like hell back to Larry's house. We left his keys in the truck and walked the railroad tracks back home. To this day, Larry is know around town as Goofy.
in and I mentioned to my buddy that MTV was in Daytona for the week for Spring Break. About midnight, I finally talked him into going with me. When he agreed, I turned around. He asked where we were going and I told him we were headed to his house so he could pack some clothes. We were sitting in Daytona when the sun came up. Turn the clock forward a couple of days.... We were in a club on the strip...I was drinking tequila sunrises. I was headed to the bar for another one and some chick had her feet propped up on a chair blocking the aisle. I stopped and just looked at her.....she asked me, "What's the password?". I thought for a few seconds and then leaned down and stuck my tongue down her throat. I mean I seriously laid one on her. When I stood back up, she stood up and grabbed my hand. Practically drug me back to her hotel room. To this day, I still have no clue what her name was.