We don't need no stinking toilet paper

There is a toiletry etiquette for that:
  1. Wipe your ass with your left hand (or the hand which you don't use to eat or shake with people). ...
  2. Wash that hand! ...
  3. Don't shake hand with people using your shit hand. ...
  4. Don't eat using your shit hand by directly putting it in your mouth. ...
  5. Don't open door with your shit hand.
Five rules of etiquette? Five? I may need to print that out for reference.
 
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