When is it Time to Hang it Up?

Basement Bias

Basement Bias

FlyingWolver9er
Messages
1,110
Location
Wren/Willshire, OH Pleasant Mills/Rivare, IN
So I've been coaching sports (youth in particular) for at least a decade or maybe 11 years. I'm also a volunteer for 4H for one livestock committee and co-leader for township club for the past couple years & been involved as member & step parent/parent before that. Also board member of the youth tackle league ("sub league" now) I coach in and founder/president of flag football league at my HS alma mater.

All that being said, I'm a bit fed up with all of it in some way or another. At the beginning it was great with parents & kids. However as I get closer to parents being closer to my age it has been worse. I'll be 34 at the end of the year. I don't see it improving much in the next few years. I'm getting the feeling Saban must have had after the Rose Bowl. Funny bc one of my pains accused me of being the Saban of our old version of the league & ruining his program. Anyone been in this position? Any advice to make it better? Is it time to just step away?
 
I could not do what you do. Parents are the worst in today's world. I'd cuss them out with all my Marine Corps foul language and get fired from a volunteer position. Hell, I'd prolly get sued by one of the parents for being an asshole. When you hang it up, make sure you tell the parents that they are the reason you gave up on something you loved doing. Then challenge them to do it.
 
Basement Bias said:
I coach in and founder/president of flag football league at my HS alma mater.
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What you need is a guy who scored four touchdowns in one game.... all else would be irrelevant with this kind of talent.

FEZuE87WYAIv1PE.jpg:large
 
I coached several sports in graduating leagues when my son was coming up through the youth sports system, I always tried to make it fun for the kids, so many parents think their T baller is going to get a scholly and then on to the majors lol.. and the pressure is crazy, the kids just wanna have fun.
After every season, we had a party to give out trophys and whatnot. I always told my kids that if they ever needed someone to talk to when times were getting tough in the future that they could always call me and I would help them if I could.
just found out the other day that one of my "kids" had gone on to join the Army and was doing well, until he put a gun in his mouth and ended his life. not trying to put a bummer on this thread but that news rocked me. I had not seen or heard from that kid since he was 10 years old. I wish Kevin would have called me!
Fuck the parents, your building special bonds that you will always remember, if theres any question, theres no question.. If your asking if its time to give it up then it probably is..
Im kind of rambling but I look back on my coaching years as one of the best times of my life.
 
Bama Believer said:
I coached several sports in graduating leagues when my son was coming up through the youth sports system, I always tried to make it fun for the kids, so many parents think their T baller is going to get a scholly and then on to the majors lol.. and the pressure is crazy, the kids just wanna have fun.
After every season, we had a party to give out trophys and whatnot. I always told my kids that if they ever needed someone to talk to when times were getting tough in the future that they could always call me and I would help them if I could.
just found out the other day that one of my "kids" had gone on to join the Army and was doing well, until he put a gun in his mouth and ended his life. not trying to put a bummer on this thread but that news rocked me. I had not seen or heard from that kid since he was 10 years old. I wish Kevin would have called me!
Fuck the parents, your building special bonds that you will always remember, if theres any question, theres no question.. If your asking if its time to give it up then it probably is..
Im kind of rambling but I look back on my coaching years as one of the best times of my life.
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Really has been the parents that bother me. It's never really the kids. You can tell the kids that their parents are influencing stupidity and insubordination. The other problem is other board members & certain coaches. It amazes me how a young Varsity football coach with a 1-37 record the past 4 years tends to force things, while the other coach (side I represent) has been to 3 straight state championship games with the 1st group of kids we tried our system with. Yet our system didn't work & ruined 1-37 program. Some of his kids I had coached prior to splitting by school & were super talented. Yet they all quit 8th grade or 9th grade year when they were way past our system. Better yet I & a couple others offered to switch sides so that both schools would become great. That was an olive branch snapped in half.
 
Basement Bias said:
So I've been coaching sports (youth in particular) for at least a decade or maybe 11 years. I'm also a volunteer for 4H for one livestock committee and co-leader for township club for the past couple years & been involved as member & step parent/parent before that. Also board member of the youth tackle league ("sub league" now) I coach in and founder/president of flag football league at my HS alma mater.

All that being said, I'm a bit fed up with all of it in some way or another. At the beginning it was great with parents & kids. However as I get closer to parents being closer to my age it has been worse. I'll be 34 at the end of the year. I don't see it improving much in the next few years. I'm getting the feeling Saban must have had after the Rose Bowl. Funny bc one of my pains accused me of being the Saban of our old version of the league & ruining his program. Anyone been in this position? Any advice to make it better? Is it time to just step away?
Click to expand...
You do more than most will ever do. If the bad is out weighing the good, fuck it. I coached lacrosse and football for 5 or 6 years. I got sick of it and only did each for a year after my son was done playing.

People suck, and the annoying pains in the ass are the most easy to focus on. The happy parents won't say much until they see the decline in the programs you leave.

You don't owe anyone but your family anything. Finish current obligations, walk away, and be happier with more time on you hands for other things in life that bring you joy.
 
Peter Gozintite said:
You do more than most will ever do. If the bad is out weighing the good, fuck it. I coached lacrosse and football for 5 or 6 years. I got sick of it and only did each for a year after my son was done playing.

People suck, and the annoying pains in the ass are the most easy to focus on. The happy parents won't say much until they see the decline in the programs you leave.

You don't owe anyone but your family anything. Finish current obligations, walk away, and be happier with more time on you hands for other things in life that bring you joy.
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I'm guessing the decline in the programs will be noticeable. It was for the couple years of tackle football when I was mostly just board member & volunteer coach sparingly instead of full blown coaching. Last year was a bit of an improvement coming back, but it wasn't the same as when I had it rolling. I'll be curious the drop off for wrestling as well. The past 3 years that I took over have been their most successful. I don't even think I'm that good of a wrestling coach. Maybe I'll be wrong and someone else jumps in & takes it higher. I'd love to see it for the kids. I think this year will be a drop off bc the oldest kids just haven't morphed into true leaders yet.
 
I’ve been in a similar spot, feeling burnt out after years of volunteering, with rising frustrations from both parents and kids. Like you, I found that the closer I got in age to the parents, the more complex the dynamics became, making it harder to maintain that enthusiasm...Take a break if you’re feeling overwhelmed. <3
 
Basement Bias said:
So I've been coaching sports (youth in particular) for at least a decade or maybe 11 years. I'm also a volunteer for 4H for one livestock committee and co-leader for township club for the past couple years & been involved as member & step parent/parent before that. Also board member of the youth tackle league ("sub league" now) I coach in and founder/president of flag football league at my HS alma mater.

All that being said, I'm a bit fed up with all of it in some way or another. At the beginning it was great with parents & kids. However as I get closer to parents being closer to my age it has been worse. I'll be 34 at the end of the year. I don't see it improving much in the next few years. I'm getting the feeling Saban must have had after the Rose Bowl. Funny bc one of my pains accused me of being the Saban of our old version of the league & ruining his program. Anyone been in this position? Any advice to make it better? Is it time to just step away?
Click to expand...
You are a far better man than I. Personally I would have asked that parent why he wasn't volunteering his time to do a better job, other than the obvious fact that his level of caring for the kids ended at being a Karen instead of doing some work that would actually have a positive influence. Offer him/her/them the clipboard and tell them to take it or shut the hell up.
 
Basement Bias said:
So I've been coaching sports (youth in particular) for at least a decade or maybe 11 years. I'm also a volunteer for 4H for one livestock committee and co-leader for township club for the past couple years & been involved as member & step parent/parent before that. Also board member of the youth tackle league ("sub league" now) I coach in and founder/president of flag football league at my HS alma mater.

All that being said, I'm a bit fed up with all of it in some way or another. At the beginning it was great with parents & kids. However as I get closer to parents being closer to my age it has been worse. I'll be 34 at the end of the year. I don't see it improving much in the next few years. I'm getting the feeling Saban must have had after the Rose Bowl. Funny bc one of my pains accused me of being the Saban of our old version of the league & ruining his program. Anyone been in this position? Any advice to make it better? Is it time to just step away?
Click to expand...
Dude you are a Rock Star in my mind for doing what you do, mucho respect. Dont let the haters get you down.
 
batchaps4me said:
You are a far better man than I. Personally I would have asked that parent why he wasn't volunteering his time to do a better job, other than the obvious fact that his level of caring for the kids ended at being a Karen instead of doing some work that would actually have a positive influence. Offer him/her/them the clipboard and tell them to take it or shut the hell up.
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Funny part is wasn't a parent but the Varsity Coach for one of the 2 schools our league develops. Now we play in a league of 6 because of him. I had offered to switch sides to help his program as did a couple others. No wonder he is 1-37 after 4 years. Be lucky if he wins 1 game in year 5 as well. The other coach that I was under used what we did and took those kids to 3 straight state runner up finishes. Mr 1-37 was the Jr RB on the state championship team of the other side when we were in school. I played youth with him & the real stars of that team. Heck if my buddies would have been healthy, we could have been state champs in our class too or minimum in semi finals. Anywhere else he would be fired but his school doesn't care.
 
Basement Bias said:
Funny part is wasn't a parent but the Varsity Coach for one of the 2 schools our league develops. Now we play in a league of 6 because of him. I had offered to switch sides to help his program as did a couple others. No wonder he is 1-37 after 4 years. Be lucky if he wins 1 game in year 5 as well. The other coach that I was under used what we did and took those kids to 3 straight state runner up finishes. Mr 1-37 was the Jr RB on the state championship team of the other side when we were in school. I played youth with him & the real stars of that team. Heck if my buddies would have been healthy, we could have been state champs in our class too or minimum in semi finals. Anywhere else he would be fired but his school doesn't care.
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Sounds like a certain coach at my highschool. Got handed 3 girls (all 3 the best of friends) who could really play bball. Ran one off before freshman year, and she is now going to go and play college volleyball, the other two stuck it out and played varsity all 4 years. One of them is playing d1 softball, the other should be playing bball somewhere but isn't because he ruined it for her, almost had a complete team mutiny this year. This coach couldn't understand that just passing the ball around the outside of the circle with no driving, cutting, screens or pick and rolls does not equal winning basketball. Everything that they had been doing since 2nd grade was now off the table. Oh and each play had a designated shooter and they got yelled at if you shoot and aren't it. This guy is now no longer the bball coach, unfortunately he is still the ad. Some of us talked to the school board and it was suggested he step down. Us parents had had enough.
 
Copejunkie said:
Sounds like a certain coach at my highschool. Got handed 3 girls (all 3 the best of friends) who could really play bball. Ran one off before freshman year, and she is now going to go and play college volleyball, the other two stuck it out and played varsity all 4 years. One of them is playing d1 softball, the other should be playing bball somewhere but isn't because he ruined it for her, almost had a complete team mutiny this year. This coach couldn't understand that just passing the ball around the outside of the circle with no driving, cutting, screens or pick and rolls does not equal winning basketball. Everything that they had been doing since 2nd grade was now off the table. Oh and each play had a designated shooter and they got yelled at if you shoot and aren't it. This guy is now no longer the bball coach, unfortunately he is still the ad. Some of us talked to the school board and it was suggested he step down. Us parents had had enough.
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We were all hoping the new AD at that school would fire him. Unfortunately the new AD was an in-house person (believe softball coach). He seems to want to just leave him there until he has time to deal with it. It's sad bc there were 3 of us that kept this league running after the old board retired. 1 was on that side doing his best until 1-37 cornered him wanting him gone. The other was an alum from there coaching middle school on our side. He's the one that needs to replace 1-37 at Varsity & we can then just go back to the old league & mix the kids up instead of by school.
 
Big 8 Rules said:
Focus on the kids. If you’re helping them, that’s why you do it. They’re the ones who are going to remember you anyway. To hell with the parents.

“We don’t stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing”
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This.

I coached HS football (I was the DB coach/assistant DC) for 2 years. I loved it but the parents were a pain in the ass. And this was 8 man football at a private school in Calabasas, CA. Most of these kids went to Stanford, Cal or an Ivy League school.

SMH.
 
DJ Fieri said:
This.

I coached HS football (I was the DB coach/assistant DC) for 2 years. I loved it but the parents were a pain in the ass. And this was 8 man football at a private school in Calabasas, CA. Most of these kids went to Stanford, Cal or an Ivy League school.

SMH.
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Shoulda taken Oaks Christian down! 👍
 
Big 8 Rules said:
Focus on the kids. If you’re helping them, that’s why you do it. They’re the ones who are going to remember you anyway. to a
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I coached at Viewpoint from 1993-1995. I think it was 1998 or 1999, I was reporting on a Viewpoint vs Faith Baptist game for the Los Angeles Daily News and after the game I had just finished interviewing the coaches.....a young man came up and said, "Hey, coach...."

One of the kids I coached, we chatted a bit and he told me he was finishing up his degree at Harvard and stuff.

Cool moment.
 
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