now I know yall had to discuss who does who,,, rock paper scissors... sump'm
First come, first served then rotate. back then it was 18-80, blind crippled, crazy and bald. The bald part is a different story
@batchaps4me seriously, you could write short stories and get them published,, you have great style or is it prose ??
I am just telling it like I remember … I ain't making this shit up. I tried selling a couple of these at a comedy club but the comedians said they were not believable enough to work into their routine. But thanks, its like Lewis Grizzard meets Ron White!
On the way back to the apartment, Travis is trying to talk us out of this … Mike said hell no, you can walk home but we are going. I was like hell yeah!!! We went back in and grandma was still sitting in that chair and said the other two were upstairs. Travis started rolling another joint and I went and poured four Jack and Cokes. We smoked that joint and was sipping on our drinks when the other two came back downstairs. The pick of the litter came over and sit down beside me and Mt. Cody asked what we were drinking and Mike got up and led her to the kitchen.
In the mean time the homely gal is telling me how she had Travis Tritt's love child, but that was in Europe so the birth certificate didn't reflect that. I am just biding my time waiting for an opening and Travis gets up, grabs Mike's truck keys looks at the gal ... smiles and said let's go. Out the door they went. I am trying to figure out how that happened and Mt. Cody and Mike come dancing back into the living room ... she is wearing noting but about three yards of white cotton panties. Her boobs ... the only I an describe them is they were like someone filled both legs of pantyhose with oranges and taped it to her chest. Mike was dancing behind her playing with those things but he was duckwalking to reach the nipples.
It was like a car wreck ... I could not help but slow down and stare. After a few minutes, she told Mike BRB and went back in the kitchen and grabbed the whiskey and a handful of some kind of pills. As she walked into the living room, she threw the pills in her mouth and turned up that 2/3s of the fifth and sucked the bottom out of the bottle. The old lady looked at me and said that was a shame because she would fuck me but needed another drink or two first. My nerves are a little rattled so I reach down and grab the roaches from earlier, light one and eat the other.
About that time, Mt.Cody lets out a scream and sprints out her back door, and kept on screaming. Me and Mike jump up and go out back to see what is going on. That crazy bitch ran down the hill to the next apartment, lowered her head and ran straight at the neighbor's door. She missed it by a solid two feet, taking a header into the brick wall. By the time me and Mike made it down there, the neighbors were outside one yelling at his wife to call 911. Mike asked what we could do and they said go out front and direct the ambulance. I told Mike to go out there, I was going to grab our shit from the apartment and meet him there.
I stepped in the kitchen of her apartment and used her phone to call Dad. When he answered I said Dad, we are okay but in a jam. "Come to Cordova cross the River Bridge, turn around, pull over and turn off your headlights. If we are not in the truck in five minutes, go back home". I grabbed the two half gallons of vodka and started to the front. About the time I got to the senior citizen's chair, Mt. Cody's dad started down the stairs carrying a kid. I yelled "bye!" and out the door I went in a full gallop. Mike was in the street telling a couple of cops that he was certified in CPR and pointed to where the body was ... I hit the woods and when the cops headed to the apartments I yelled Come on and Hurry!!!
About 20 minutes later, Dad crossed the bridge turned around and pulled over. There must have been a half dozen cop cars and an ambulance with lights on at the apartments. We jumped into the back yelling GO, GO, GO DAMMITT!!! and off we went. When we got to Dad's, he got out and said, "do I want to know"? I said, "Dad, we did not do anything illegal, the cops weren't called on us, we just couldn't stand the pressure. Think about it tonight and if you are still curious in the morning I will tell you everything. If you don't mind, we are going to sleep in the garage(detached) tonight". Dad never asked.
in and I mentioned to my buddy that MTV was in Daytona for the week for Spring Break. About midnight, I finally talked him into going with me. When he agreed, I turned around. He asked where we were going and I told him we were headed to his house so he could pack some clothes. We were sitting in Daytona when the sun came up. Turn the clock forward a couple of days.... We were in a club on the strip...I was drinking tequila sunrises. I was headed to the bar for another one and some chick had her feet propped up on a chair blocking the aisle. I stopped and just looked at her.....she asked me, "What's the password?". I thought for a few seconds and then leaned down and stuck my tongue down her throat. I mean I seriously laid one on her. When I stood back up, she stood up and grabbed my hand. Practically drug me back to her hotel room. To this day, I still have no clue what her name was.
