Shitty new neighbors....

RazzlDazzl

RazzlDazzl

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Army Business sir!
If this is a tldr, title covers it.

Planning on having some family and friends over this afternoon, I fired up the smoker about 9am for a brisket and pork shoulder.

About noon, doing my thing, meaning keeping an eye on the temps and running the radio, the new neighbors show up with their shit eating dog in my front yard.

I was informed that I was polluting the neighborhood and contributing to global warming. I then asked them why they haven't changed their global warming term to climate change like all the smart people. Crickets.

At this point I turned around, sat down in my chair, cracked open a beer, and asked them what they do to combat climate change. We drive a Prius!

I said that's great, the battery in that car is made by minerals mined by child and slave labor and transported worldwide using fossil fuels. I think I'll go fire up the three V8s in the yard and the twin turbo V6 and just let them idle.

They scoffed, walked away, and 30 minutes later two cops and a fire truck showed up and told me they were called to a fire. These people have no idea the can of worms they've opened.

End rant.
 
Wow, so much work to do here, they must pay for this serious transgression, sugar water or cokes create ant beds. That's lite, round up can spell cool words in front yards, that's medium, oven cleaner does nice things to car hoods on hot days.. more to come
 
Every morning when they opened a door and every evening when they got home, there would be charcoal smoldering in a grill for effect. Did you know that bear urine will scare most dogs? I am not sure if you live in city limits or not, but I have found that emptying a box of ammo or so through a bunch of different caliber guns tends to calm neighbors down. If you have room to shoot, invite a few buddies over to sight in their firearms and you can BBQ and shoot all day. Let your local LEOs know that you will be doing that on a certain date/time ... even go by the office that morning and tell the officers on duty what you are doing ... neighbors panic more when the LEOs don't respond to their calls. It never hurts to abruptly end a conservation by blinking rapidly and declaring that you need to call you psychiatrist for a medicine adjustment. Burning leaves and brush are a must.
 
First, Watch out for cameras while you are doing your pranks, don't want them to get evidence against you. When stuff starts happening there's a good chance they put some up. Skin a deer or hog or 2 where they can see it, best time would be when they have their yuppy friends over. Fire up the big block at 4 a.m. give it a few revs, you know, just to make sure the batteries not dead.;)
 
Copejunkie said:
First, Watch out for cameras while you are doing your pranks,
Click to expand...
Cameras are a bitch ... do what you can on your own land when possible. That reminds me, when you have an extra $20 bill burning a hole in your pocket, buy a money order and make a gift donation in your neighbors' names to Texas Governor Abbott's/Trump's reelection campaign/PAC and every time you see the mailman you can wonder what mailing list your new neighbor is now on.
 
@RazzlDazzl so these types are fun. They are the kind that are woke enough to know what woke is but dumb to the point they don't know the points they are making were already decided for them.

Need a new visitor anytime soon? I could melt them in half for you.

Also tell them, next time, that the way you are cooking your meat was taught to you by an Indigenous person from the Qualla Rez (be sure to use indigenous as it fires off their wokeness)
 
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